Ten things to keep in mind while our children learn remotely

On the first official day of remote learning in Victoria I thought I’d share some tips and things that I have learnt over the past few years homeschooling.

1) Remote learning is not the same for everybody. For some, it is a learning pack with little support from school. For some, it is online classes that follow a timetable and the biggest change is that class is conducted online. There are also many variations in between. It is important not to compare yourself to others during this time. Different schools have different demands on parents. Also, as parents, we have different circumstances, different responsibilities, and different children. Some parents work, some parents have more children, some parents have children who put an unusual amount of effort trying to avoid work. Just do your best, make dua, and don’t worry if your best looks different to somebody else’s.

2) Routine is key. Try to start school work at the same time every day and have consistent breaks, you can use recess and lunch for familiarity. Some have suggested packing a lunchbox. Make a basic timetable even if not required from school, it gives your child some direction and lets them know what to expect. Having said that don’t feel you have to stick to it 100%. Do not be afraid to be flexible, if something comes up, or if your child is struggling to focus, send them outside or let them read for 5-10 mins then come back. There is nothing wrong with a bit of flexibility as long as you don’t let them take it too far.

3) Don’t be surprised if your child does not take to learning at home and everything seems like a big battle. It is not unusual to take up to a month for your child to get into a good routine and stop fighting it, this is just how some children are and it is not a reflection on you. It is often the case with children who regularly push boundaries. It is also more likely when children have used devices regularly (which let’s face it, with the amount of time our kids have been spending indoors lately is quite common nowadays). Try to be patient and consistent. Avoid getting frustrated at your child or allow negativity and stress into a situation that is already negative and stressful. Choose your battles and if you are not initially happy with the amount of work completed aim to build up over time.

4) Focus on literacy and numeracy as these are the most important areas. As long as your child can read and comprehend at the expected level it is not difficult to catch up on other subject areas, but literacy and numeracy will require a much greater effort if a student falls behind. So if you are unable to complete the work assigned for an entire day prioritise these areas.

5) Now that you are home educating you have more flexibility to complete things outside of school hours. If there is unfinished work, you can do it in the evenings as ‘homework’. You can even do it on the weekends. There is nothing to say it needs to be completed between 8:30am and 3:30 pm (unless of course your child is doing live classes online). Bottom line is you are no longer constrained by school hours, so do what works for your child and your family.

6) Make a ‘no devices for anything other than schooling’ rule for school hours. If you allow them to play the odd game here or there during their breaks trust me, it will not end. Then anytime you are busy with a chore or helping another child you will suddenly find them playing a game for “just one minute” which of course stretches out longer and longer. I don’t allow devices on ‘school days’ until all work is completed. If my son decides to drag his feet, I tell him that fine with me as I prefer him not to use devices anyhow. Having said that I do use my judgement. If I see he has made a genuine effort for most of the day, but something has taken longer than anticipated, or he had a stumbling block, I will make exceptions. For me, the effort is more important than the results.

7) Another idea is to let your child earn device time through other means. On top of the ‘no devices for anything other than schooling’ during school hours rule, I also make my son earn his device time (when I’m organised enough to follow this up which I admit isn’t as much as I’d like). This can be done through chores, reading, or any other activity you feel would be beneficial. I made a log to record this and some rules to go along which I am happy to share if anybody is interested.

8) Do what works to motivate your child. For some children this is a checklist, for others, it is a star char. You can invest in some stamps and stickers, young children love these! You know your child best, but feel free to experiment until you find something that works for your child. For my son, it was the timer. When he drags his feet and a simple task takes 10 times longer than it needs to, I simply use the timer on my phone and tell him I’m going to time and see how fast he can do the next problem/worksheet etc, All of a sudden he becomes super-efficient and the time-wasting disappears.

9) Be kind to yourself. Don’t forget to rest, sit down, put your feet up, have a cup of tea when you can. Do not expect your house to look like it does when they are at school, or even how it looks on the holidays. You have children around making mess and now that you are expected to help them with their schooling you have less time to do housework. Do not expect perfection.

10) Be kind to your child’s teacher. Just like the rest of us, they are trying their best in a situation that is stressful and very new to them. Just like us they are human and just like us they will probably make some mistakes along the way. Contact them if you are concerned or unsure about anything, but when doing so be aware that they are currently under an enormous amount of pressure, so as usual, be kind. And if you are happy with their efforts don’t be afraid to drop them a short email to let them know.

I hope some of you find this useful and let me know if you have any questions.

Using Screen Time For Good

My 7-year-old is a reluctant reader.  Truth be told, he is a reluctant almost everything good for him.  This has frustrated me to no end and is essentially the reason why I decided to homeschool him.  With most things, he has good and bad days.  Though with reading, we really didn’t make any progress.

I have never, in his seven years, seen him pick up a book voluntarily and just read.  He even shuns programs like Reading Eggs. When I want him to read books I have to be there beside him, and even then he refuses. Finally, he succumbs to a compromise of reading a page each, usually insisting on reading the ones with more picture and less text.

This is contrary to anything I’ve ever experienced.  I have always loved reading and can’t imagine a life without books.  I spent countless hours as a child with my head in a book, imagining make-believe places, sharing in the excitement and fears of the characters, and always wishing it was me going on the adventures.

Likewise, his three older siblings have also loved reading. My second, in particular, was practically born obsessed with books.  As a toddler, she would walk about the house carrying books with her everywhere.  At the age of three, she would pile up a stack of books so high on her bedside table that I would have to remove them each night, worried it would collapse and fall on her head as she slept.  Unfortunately, though, my seven-year-old appears to have taken his lead from his older brother, who at some point discovered that reading wasn’t considered cool by his peers and by the time master seven was old enough to notice, his older brother had long given up on books.

I have tried everything to pique his interest. I have started off books with him, hoping once his interest was sparked that he would continue on his own.  The first half of the plan would work, he would become absorbed, asking for more. Unfortunately, however, his laziness would overpower his interest, having to actually read himself was just not worth the effort. I’ve taken him to libraries and tried buying him books on topics or characters he is interested in, he just begs for me to read it for him.  In desperation I even went on a homeschooling page on Facebook asking for advice, I was actually shot down by some who thought I shouldn’t be forcing my values on him and that I should just let him be.  Ummm thanks, but no thanks.

Then the other day when complaining about the situation to my husband, he turned to me and said: “You need to understand that these days books are competing with other things that we didn’t have growing up, they are more interested in technology and their devices.”

Like most children these days, master 7 loves his screen time.  He becomes obsessed, to the point where I have pretty much banned and confiscated everything he had access to.  It was after this remark by my husband that I realised that this technology-obsessed boy was never going to willingly chose to read a book over his devices.  And even if he doesn’t have access to them, it’s that kind of stimulation that he is after – the instant gratification, not the long toil.  I realised that the mistake I was making is that I was setting up books against technology and books could never win.   I decided then and there that I had to find a solution that made screen time work for us, not against us.

What I decided to do is set some pretty strict guidelines where he can earn time on the computer.  Firstly, in order to qualify for computer usage, he needs to complete all his homeschooling requirements for the day.  Then once he qualifies he can earn time on the computer by either using educational games (both online or otherwise) and reading.  So far it is working great.  And the beauty of the system is that by the time he finishes all his work and then goes on to earn credit, he really doesn’t have that much time to use his screen time anyhow!

I can’t say it’s not without its hiccups.  Today he tried to blackmail one hour out of me so that he would hold onto his rubbish instead from throwing it on the road like he wanted to.  He is also earning too much credit too quickly so it seems that I may need to tweak the credit system a little. However, on the whole, it’s working like a charm and for somebody who has always avoided work like the plague and refused to read on his own for his entire life, it’s wonderful to see him so motivated.

As an added bonus I have a new discipline strategy under my sleeve.  If he ignores my requests as he has a habit of doing when I’m unable to follow up (eg, annoying his sister in the car when I’m driving) all I have to do is tell him that if he continues I’m taking an hour off his accrued time and its pretty much instant obedience from there.

Will it last? I can’t say for sure, but it’s certainly a step in the right direction. For now, I’m just savouring the simple pleasure of seeing him read in bed before sleep and praying that during this time he finds the magic that can be found in books and he can love reading as much as I did when I was a child – as much as I do now.